Know Yourself: The Work That Shapes How You Lead

May - KnowYourself

May 1

There was a point in my career when I started to realize something uncomfortable.

I was clear on my intentions. I knew the kind of leader I wanted to be. I cared deeply about the impact I was trying to have.

And still, there were moments, especially under stress, where how I showed up didn’t fully align with that.

That realization didn’t come all at once. It came one moment at a time.

Some of it started with understanding my strengths. That intentional work to assess and better understand my strengths helped me see more clearly what I naturally brought to leadership…where I created energy, where I built momentum, and where I felt most connected to purpose. It gave me language for the kind of impact I wanted to have in the world, and why it was important to me.

But strengths were only part of the picture.

The deeper work came when I started to understand how others experienced me.

Through 360 assessments and feedback over time, I began to see patterns I hadn’t fully recognized before. There were moments where the way I thought I was leading didn’t match how people were receiving it. That gap between intention and impact was hard to sit with at first. It challenged how I saw myself.

But it was also one of the most important turning points in my development, because leadership happens in relationship with others.

I also spent time developing my emotional intelligence…understanding my own emotional patterns, where my intensity served me, and where it created unintended consequences. There were situations where my drive and urgency helped move things forward. And there were other times where those same tendencies created unnecessary pressure or limited space for others.

Learning to recognize that took practice.

I also started to pay closer attention to how stress showed up in my body. To the clear signals my body was sending me that I was moving into reaction instead of intention. To the moments where my instinct, paired with my introversion and analytical strength, was to go inward to solve, to process, to carry things myself rather than stay connected and present with others.

This work required (and still requires) regular practice.

Practicing staying engaged in hard conversations when it would have been easier to withdraw.
Practicing active listening…not to respond, but to genuinely understand how others were experiencing a situation.
Practicing using my values not just as something I believed, but as something that shaped how I made decisions and created alignment across a team.

Over time, those practices changed how I led. Not because I became a different person, but because I became more aware of the choices I had in how I showed up.

And that’s where this work becomes powerful. Self-awareness is not just about insight. It’s about impact.

When leaders understand themselves and how they think, how they react, how they are experienced, they create the conditions for stronger relationships, clearer communication, and more effective collaboration.

They build trust more intentionally.
They navigate complexity with more clarity.
They influence outcomes not just through authority, but through connection and understanding.

And perhaps most importantly, they create environments where others can do the same. Because the way a leader shows up, especially under pressure, shapes the system around them.

That’s why this is not a one-time reflection, but as an ongoing practice. Because knowing yourself is not the end goal.

It’s what allows you to lead with intention when it matters most.